“Study” Finds Minnesotans Poorly Prepared for Zombie Apocalypse


The-Walking-Dead-Season 4

Millions tuned into Sunday’s season 4 finale of AMC’s The Walking Dead, a wildly popular show which chronicles the lives of post-apocalyptic survivors struggling against swarms of roaming zombies.

A fun, creative — if also a bit fatalistic — recent post at Estately’s blog carefully considered the unique challenges depicted on The Walking Dead (and other undead-walker-related scenarios) in an effort to rank the U.S. states in terms of their ability to survive a zombie apocalypse.

The good news: It’s a really funny and entertaining blog post.

The bad news: Minnesota didn’t fare so well in the rankings — we came in 38th place out of 51 spots, being dubbed “Zombiesota” for our ineptness at avoiding zombies.


Here are the top ten states based on the official Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Rankings:

1. Alaska
2. Wyoming
3. Colorado
4. Idaho
5. New Mexica
6. Montana
7. Arizona
8. Nevada
9. New Hampshire
10. Wisconsin (Oh c’mon…really?)

Estately’s methods sound very scientific — according to the website, they utilize “11 metrics that measure fighting ability, knowledge of zombies, physical fitness, and access to weapons.”

A few of the criteria they used in their rankings were:

Active Military Personnel: States with more soldiers per capita means states with more people who are physically fit, trained to fight, and have access to weapons.

Paintball Enthusiasts: Those who can slink around the woods unnoticed while splattering their enemies with paint will find success shooting zombies in nature (source — percentage of Facebook users who listed “paintball” as an interest).

Triathletes: When everything breaks down, running, swimming, and bicycling will be ideal ways to escape zombies (source — percentage of Facebook users who listed ”Ironman triathlon” as an interest).

Yep. That sure sounds scientific to me!

Similar to my skepticism regarding recent research we reported on gauging U.S. states’ “well-being,” one metric that seems to me to be a glaring omission from this zombie “study” is weather data.

deep snow 2

I can’t imagine zombies are nearly as mobile or deadly during a Minnesota winter — especially this winter. Between the slick ice and deep snow tripping them up and slowing them down, I’d think zombies would prefer to pursue and pester people in much less frigid climates.

You can check out the full rankings and methodology here.


Photos via: Collider.com — Thatsmelbourne.com.au — Estately.com



About Author

Brent Lee

Brent and his dog Steve live in Eagan where they spend their time eating, sleeping and getting into adventures. Apart from the brutal, inhumane winters, they are both convinced Minnesota is a top five global destination. Brent is happiest when he is playing football, laughing, discussing philosophy, eating Chipotle, watching anything Larry David created, doing funny character voices while reading children's books to his two little nieces, or writing about whatever happens to cross his mind, unapologetically stretching sentence length and comma usage as far as the editor will allow. Also, Brent's nemesis is Burt Reynolds, though Mr. Reynolds is likely unaware of this rivalry.

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